More stuff noone cares about.

My format here is all messed up because of an oversized image below. I guess I will have to write more to move things along.

I was messing with my Yahoo 360 page today. I am going to have to mess with it some more before I am happy with it, but it is coming along. I don't know why, but I am liking it better than MySpace. Maybe it is because my kids and all their friends aren't around on Yahoo to spy on me, so I can let my hair down a little. My kids don't even have my yahoo address. They e-mail me at hotmail.

I need to move some laundry and get my butt into bed. I should probably also gather up everything that my baby is taking out of my wallet and make sure it is all accounted for. I should also probably get my social security card out of the scanner before I forget about it.

I have to report for jury duty in the morning. I hope I am not there all day long. I have some other things I want to do. I have everything to do that I didn't do today, plus the other things that I needed to do tomorrow anyway. I think I am going to try to use the time at the courthouse productively to do some reading that I've been wanting to do but haven't had time for.

I didn't get much of anything done today because I didn't sleep too well last night. I am pretty much falling on my face tonight. I should go to bed... I guess I will unplug my headset, plug in my speakers, fire up iTunes, check out the radio section and find a nice droning ambient station to sleep to.

A quick thought or two

I did some techie work last Sunday night going into Monday morning, of the sort that pays. It was good, other than the crappy hours. The work wasn't too hard and the money was good. (Ha! As if I ever met a paycheck I didn't like!)

I have to get my butt in bed. I have to be in Dover, at the courthouse, at 8:30 am for jury duty. Yay! I get to perform a civic duty! Yay! Well, except for the getting up early part. That part sucks.

I hope they don't actually keep me all day. There's a job I want to apply for that I hear I have a good chance of getting if I just get there and get my application in.

And now it is time to go to sleep. My alarm is going to be waking me up in 5.5 hours or so. Blah.

I've got something on my mind tonight. Nothing bad. Quite the opposite. Just a little something floating around in my skull... Could it be love?

Replacement quiz for 2/14

The quiz I took and posted the results for on the utterly pointless February 14 post below moved, and I lost it, so I went and took it again at its new location and got a new result:




Take the Mage quiz.

I know these things are dumb, and yet they are fun.

Thinking through Writing

I haven't written here in a long time, it seems. I've just been insanely busy. For a while, it was the kids keeping me busy-- the last month of school is always crazy with award dinners, field trips, and all sorts of events. Now it is just the early summer crazies that is keeping me from posting here.

I tend to spread myself too thin. I've tried out some other online journaling places, but this is the only thing I have really stuck with. I realize that this site is of limited interest to the general public, but I like to put things up here so that friends can keep track of me, and more importantly, because writing about all the mundane crap in my life helps me sort things out for myself. Writing helps me organize the chaos in my mind. When I try to categorize it too much, starting a blog here about losing weight, one over there about my love life, another over yonder about what's going on in the wide world of PC games, I end up posting a lot of nothing everywhere, and my thoughts never quite clear up. All that categorization just promotes the havoc my brain is wreaking inside my skull 24/7.

With that said, I've been working on my silly little game site, gobbomania.com. I had shut it down and let it die, but I am putting it back together now. I am using TikiWiki, which I really like a lot. It's now a fan site for two completely different games (The Chronicle and Vanguard: Saga of Heroes). I've decided to treat it as a hobby, a little something to mess with in the evenings while I wait to see how the aforementioned games turn out.

I've been considering starting another site or blog to give kitchen and household advice, based on my wealth of experience in those areas, having learned most of it the hard way. I know there are a million of those things out there, but I should have the street cred to make it something people look at-- I am the one sweeping up the cereal path from the cabinet to the area in front of the TV, not the one suggesting you spend all afternoon baking a cake to look like a theme park. I know arcane secrets, like how to re-heat leftover spaghetti to be nearly good as new. (Here's your arcane household tip of the day... Try bleaching your whites in cold water instead of hot.)

I have been considering applying for an associate designer position with Sigil Games Online in order to put my extensive RPG and MMORPG experience to use. I don't know if they'd even consider hiring me, since my work history isn't much to look at. I've mostly been a housewife, after all, and that's not something that many people look on too favorably. But while I haven't been employed outside the home much, I have continued playing RPGs and MMORPGs, and I have spent more time than the average bear thinking and writing about games. So, maybe I'll give it a shot. The worst thing that can happen is that someone in HR on the other side of the country laughs and ditches my resume.

Ah, well. Time to go practice a little housewifery. Dishes don't do themselves, unfortunately, and using the disposable sort is cost prohibitive when you're broke and you've got 8 people to feed.

Find your Celestial Choir

Blah....

I've been feeling pretty run down this week. It's that time of the month, and the baby has been keeping me up at night. Blah. I need a vacation.

I am too tired to type. Isn't that sad?

Utterly Pointless Post Of The Week

find your element
at mutedfaith.com.

Craziness

I've been so up and down over the last few days. Last month's mortgage payment got screwed up between the mortgage company and the bank. A partial payment we'd made ended up getting applied to escrow, so it wasn't counted, and then I mailed a check (priority mail) for the other part of the payment, but when I called and talked to a rep to make sure the two payments were properly combined, they said they hadn't gotten it, so I made a payment over the phone and called the bank to put a stop payment on the check, and the bank apparently stopped BOTH payments. None of the money paid in November counted, so when I paid my payment on Dec. 1, it was applied to November, and now they say we owe another whole payment for December.

Great.

So, the whole time I was working at the bowling alley, I was thinking that I was going to pay back the school so I wouldn't have any troubl registering, but it got put off and put off and, you guessed it, I can't register now. Gotta wait til I have the money on Monday... BUT... There's a always a "but"! Two of the four of the classes I was going to register for have only 1 or 2 seats available. So I guess I pray I can get in on Monday.

Yay.

I don't know how we're going to manage to get anything for the kids for Christmas. I mostly worry about the little ones. I don't want them to think Santa forgot them or that they were too naughty for Santa to bring presents. I have some ideas though. I think I could do it all on about $50.

I have been applying for jobs. I applied for 3 today. But even if I start tomorrow, I won't get the money for Christmas. I have some other projects I am working on that might get me some money, but not enough fast enough.

Just gotta keep plugging away at it.

A few short years ago we had 4 times the income we have now and we never appreciated it. I have learned so much from all we've been through.

A dumb quiz and an actual post

You Should Learn Japanese

You're cutting edge, and you are ready to delve into wacky Japanese culture. From Engrish to eating contests, you're born to be a crazy gaijin. Saiko!

What Language Should You Learn?

This was one quiz that I just couldn't resist. As much as I enjoy dabbling in new tongues, why not get a little advice on which to pick next? And Japanese is a fine pick... But I'd have said that about almost any result I could have gotten. I'm a language slut.

Lately I have been finding my inability to read Korean or Arabic particularly annoying. All I can say is that being illiterate must truly suck, since my little taste of it has been aggravating. So those two are pretty high on my list of languages to at least get a basic grasp of.

I am also interested in learning a couple of Celtic languages. I have been hacking away at Irish (Gaeilge) on the Goidelic side and have taken an interest in Cornish on the Brythonic side as well. Of course, it would seem that Irish and Welsh would be a more sensible pair, both being living languages, or Manx and Cornish, if I wanted to go for the languages that have fallen out of common usage. And now that I think of it, the latter pair has some charm in my mind. Of course, resources are far more easily found for the former.

I already have a pretty decent background in Romance languages. Wouldn't Catalan be interesting? Or perhaps I could rekindle the passionate love affair I once had with Italian...

Oh, I could go on like this for days! Bahasa Indonesia! Cherokee! Swahili! Nepali! Tamil! Greek! Czech! and on and on and on...

In reality, I can't hope to get even a good, solid conversational grasp of all these languages. Obviously, choices have to be made. Learning any language to even basic proficiency takes work and some commitment to see it through.

Two semesters of Spanish are required for my degree, and while I could, in theory, have my existing credits applied to that, I think I want to take those classes to brush up, and to help me get a tighter grasp on what has been slipping through my fingers all these years. Beyond that initial choice, I will have to weigh the contenders for my attention.

Hitting a few topics

This morning I went down to the local community college and changed my major. My advisor wasn't in, so I couldn't sign up for classes, but I am supposed to meet with her tomorrow afternoon for that. I was on the fence between a couple of choices on my major because I thought they didn't have exactly what I was interested in. I wanted to take a "connected" degree that would allow me to move to a 4 year institution for my B.A. after finishing the first two years at DelTech, and I knew I was interested in education. The two connected degree programs I was aware of were Math Secondary Ed. and Early Childhood Ed. (0-K), while I was really interested in Elementary Ed (1-6) or foreign language education at the secondary level.

I was a Math Ed. major before I switched to Visual Communications in a fit of stupidity. I am actually good at math. I got a C in Calculus I a couple of years ago, after 17 years without any math classes at all, and that was the REAL Calculus, not the business Calculus course that just requires you to memorize formulas. The problem is that I don't love math, and I realized that the last thing I wanted to do was take Calculus II or any of the math beyond that. But I was willing to do that if I had to in order to get a career started. I figured I could pick up, say, Spanish Ed. at a later date.

Then I found out that Early Childhood Ed was also a connected degree option. That seemed closer to what I was interested in. When I was setting up my appointment to talk to my advisor, I told them Early Childhood Ed. was most likely what I wanted to do, though I was still considering returning to the Math Ed.

So, I got there this morning and sat down and told the nice lady that I was interested in a connected degree and was looking at early childhood education, and she put two papers in front of me and began explaining whatwas available. She pushed one paper toward me and explained that I could go on to the University of Delaware, Delaware State University, or Wilmington College for my BA in early childhood ed, and that I could teach birth through Kindergarten if I chose either of the universities or through second grade if I went on to Wilmington College.

Then she moved on to the second paper and said they had another program for Elementary Ed. (grades 1-6). I couldn't believe it! She said most people were unaware that they had this program, and I told her that I was one of those unaware people. It doesn't transfer to the University of Delaware, but it does transfer to either DelState or Wilmington College. So, that's what I signed up for, and I left there overjoyed at having found this opportunity.

I stopped by where my husband works and gave him a big hug and told him about it. We stood outside and talked. He seemed a little down, but the hug made him smile. The weather is perfect, I am really excited about school, and things really are ok for the moment, and I wanted him to be as happy as I am today. I did a little twirl there in the parking lot and sang "The hills are alive with the sound of music," and he laughed and told me I was a goofball. It was good to hear him laugh.

My mom just called. I have a shirt and a bowl that I borrowed from her, and we're going exchange rice-- I bought a large quantity of jasmine rice and she bought a large quantity of basmati rice, so we're going to trade a little rice.

I posted recently about "An Overdue Apology". Well, the guy in question called me on the phone last week to apologize again. I am afraid I was a little rude to him. Apparently he's wanted to get this off his chest for years, but I have spent all those years coming to terms with stuff that happened, and learning to live with it, so calling me to apologize again just made those old wounds hurt again. I laid in bed that night, snuggling my baby and crying for the babies that I loved and didn't meet. I hope he feels better now and will just stay away from me so that I can get on with being ok.

I can't fix the past. I can only make peace with it. But that's a fragile cease-fire at best, made possible only by my desire to look forward and let the past stay in the past, where it belongs. I certainly don't need anyone calling me back there to the time that broke me into a million jagged pieces when I finally have most of my pieces glued back in place.

Lasagne. Yum.

I made a really tasty cheese lasagna today. It turns out the the meat in lasagna is pretty unnecessary. I used a 24 oz. tub of cottage cheese, a 15. oz tub of ricotta, about 3/4 c. of grated parmesan and romano (sprinkle cheese, as my kids call it), and about half a pound of mozzarella all mixed together with an egg and a couple of dashes of basil. I used sauce from a jar, boiled up some noodles and constructed the lasagna in one of my white casserole dishes, putting the shredded the other half pound of mozzarella on the top.

Now I am going to get back down to some NaNoWriMo writing. It's going pretty well, but I have a lot of ground to make up. The new story is a lot more fun than the one I started with.

An overdue apology

I few days ago, I had a strange experience. I was at the grocery store, buying a few things for lunch, when an ex-boyfriend who figured largely in why I am such a screwed up individual walked up and started talking to me. After a little small talk, he apologized for screwing up my life. I told him I was 34 now, and was over it, and it was at that moment that I realized that I was right. I really am ok now. He said he didn't know how much it meant now, but I said that he thought enough to say it, and that had to mean something. It was, on the whole, a strange thing, but I think actually getting an apology really does mean something to me. It doesn't change anything, but at least I know that at least one other person out there has given some thought to things that happened to me. And, in the end, I am okay.

One little post about Tapioca...

I post one little thing about tapioca, and suddenly Google Ads is matching me up with "Aging", "Senior Chat" and "Women over 40". Ah, well... A few days ago, it was showing ads matching "Islam Jihad" and so on, as if my blog, on the whole, was of particular interest to Muslims or jihadis. And then, of course, for quite a long time before that, it had my content pegged as the kind of thing that you'd attach ads for HipHop to.

Watching what comes up on my Google Ads is getting to be some sort of weird hobby of mine. It makes me want to post things about rare species of birds and extreme babysitting, just to see what their program thinks would be a good match for my content.

Which reminds me... I have another site, mmorpg related, that I have broken completely. I originally signed up for the Google Ads for that site, and just added them here when I saw a link to them on the blogger.com site. I need to fix my other site so that I can enjoy the wonder and joy that is Google ads.

I love Blogger, by the way. I have had blog/journal/diary type things elsewhere, but this remains the one I actually use.

Oh, and my display name... I saw my randomly generated Spammer name and thought it was funny. A few days later, it was still funny, so I thought I would use it for a while.

NaNoWriMo Notes

On Day 3, I scrapped everything I had written and started over. I wrote 600 words in under an hour, which isn't exactly blazing speed, but is a much better start than I had. I figured I could afford to scrap the mere 800 words I had written in the first two days for a better foundation. It is a bad sign when you're only 800 words in and you are already tired of the story you are writing. The new idea is going to make it much easier for me to reach that 50k goal. Instead of trying to hash out a bad fantasy novel, which has never been a genre that I had any talent for, I am going to write porn. I am not even going to call it "erotica" because that might make it sound like it was supposed to have some sort of literary merit. But no, it is just going to have a lot of explicit content, cramming in as many of my own pet perversions as I possibly can.

600 words in and noone has taken off their clothes yet. It looks like it will be at least another 600 words before the first person gets undressed... And I am really looking forward to getting there.

Yeah, this is going to go a lot better.

No time to think today, but I will say this...

Tapioca pudding is lumpy comfort in a bowl.

Because One Randomly Generated Name Is Never Enough

Your Japanese Name Is...

Kaida Anenokoji

What's your Japanese Name?

Your French Name is:

Céline Galland

What's Your French Name?

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Lokelani Kiele

What's your Hawaiian Name?

Your 1920's Name is:

Vivienne Leota

What's Your 1920's Name?

Your Irish Name Is...

Grainne O'Brien

What's your Irish Name?

My Your Easter Bunny Name is: is Posey Hoppity.
Take Are You Worthy of Bunny-dom? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

My spammer name is Extraterrestrial Q. Euclid.

Enter your name to get yours:

The calendar says I am 34, but...

You Are 24 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

I can live with that. I am not sure I agree, but I can live with it.

Why?

Why do I always start dialing my own phone number when I try to call someone else?

E.T. phone home! And so do I... Except that the phone is always busy when I try to call me.

The First Day of Ramadan

Today is the first day of fasting for Ramadan for Muslims in North America. I realize that doesn't matter a whole hell of a lot to other people, but I thought I would mention it. If your Muslim co-worker is getting a little testy with you come 3pm, try to be sympathetic and don't offer him a Snickers.

I am sick. I am feeling a little better than yesterday, but that just means I have gone from feeling like shit to feeling like crap. I still have wall-to-wall chest congestion.

Bleh.

I have got a lot on my plate today and tomorrow. After that is a four day weekend, and I have little hope of getting anything done with the kids running around. Two of the six may be leaving Friday night with the ex, but that's not much help. Those are 2 of the three oldest, and the three youngest are the difficult ones. Those three feel like six.

So, what's on my plate? Laundry. TONS of laundry. General housecleaning. Job hunting. Rearranging my various websites and starting a complete overhaul on at least one. And then there's dinner and kids' homework and the neverending demands of a 5-month-old. Somewhere in there, I need to go to the store for groceries and diapers.

I plan on creating a couple of more blogs. I want to move my Jaaje blog off of angelfire, and perhaps create another blog for language sketches and other language-related thoughts. But, on the other hand, I don't want to spread myself too thin, either, so maybe I'll bring all my linguistic nonsense here.

New sales today at the closest grocery store. I guess I'll go see if they have anything good. Last week I got a nice salmon fillet that I broiled with salt, pepper, and a little fresh lime juice. Yum.

My Unitarian Jihad Name...

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Sister Broadsword of Looking at All Sides of the Question.

Get yours.

If you know me, you know how well that fits. *snicker*